Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Parenting Help for You: New Love and Logic Resources




When I was a teenager, my life changed.  Suddenly discipline changed.  The change occurred because my mom attended a Love and Logic conference and she learned the magic of giving choices and removing anger from parenting.

I guess you could say that I am a Love and Logic child.  Because it was modeled to me, much of it became second nature as I worked with children in the public schools and began my parenting journey.  But even with this foundation, having two special needs kiddos with sensory issues and ADHD meant I needed ideas beyond what I saw in my teenage years. 

Feeling completely hopeless on the parenting journey, I snatched up the Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood book.  After reading too-many-to-count parenting books, this was the first parenting book that gave me hope.  It was like warm tea on a sore throat.  The first book that I felt would help me remain calm while providing firm boundaries for our children.

Fast forward 5 years, Love and Logic has updated the original book.  When I contacting them to find out more about the newest edition, they kindly allowed me to review their Early Childhood Package which includes this 2nd edition book and three CDs. 
    Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood

    At first glance you will see a few changes from the old to new edition of this book.
    1.  QR Codes - Throughout the text, QR codes provide an opportunity to hear additional commentary.  So, as you read be sure to keep your smart phone nearby to scan these codes.
    2.  Updated Info - With time and in talking to readers, the authors realized some items needed further or additional explanation.  The newest edition provides this.
    3.  Up-to-date topics - Raising children is different than it was 15 years ago.  One of the biggest changes is the use of technology by children, even those under the age of 1. 

    Beyond these changes, I found the rest of the text to be very similar and providing the same foundational points of parenting.  To wet your appetite, let me share a few of my favorites.

    1.  Remove the emotion (frustration, anger, threats, repeated warnings) and replace with action
    2.  Pick a one-liner.
    • Uh-oh - Great for children ages four and under.
    • Bummer, what are you going to do about that?
    • Aren't you glad that I don't believe that?
    3.  Allow child to struggle a little and solve their own problems.  (AKA, Don't be a helicopter mom.)
    4.  Talk less. 

    Here are a couple of my favorite quotes:
    The more empathy and understanding we display, the more our children are forced to think about the pain they have created for themselves.  The more anger and frustration we show, the less our children think - and the less they learn about solving problems.
    The best way to raise a chronically unhappy and poorly behaved kid is to make a habit of giving them a lot of attention of pizzazz when they are misbehaving.

     
    CD's

    Three CD's are included in the Early Childhood Parenting Pack. 
    1. Toddlers and Preschoolers
    2. Keeping Cool When Parenting Heats Up
    3. When Little Ones Leave You Speechless
    If you read the book, the CD's are a repeat of what you read.  While this may seem like a waste of time, playing the CD several times helps solidify some of the concepts that I desire in my mind.  Also, these are great for parents who don't make time to read or for long road trips.

    Time for a disclaimer.

    There is not one man-written book that I agree with 100%.  And Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood is not exempt from this.  There are a few points in this book that I do not agree. 

    One point is that letting a child "cry it out" will "create serious breaks in the trust cycle."  Also, breaking the trust cycle during the first year of life will lead to excessive anger and rage, destructiveness, chronic lying, etc.  While I believe babies whose needs are not met may experience massive amounts of emotional issues, I do not believe that allowing a child to cry for five minutes to put themselves to sleep will cause any issues.  In actuality, I believe that allowing a child to cry a couple of minutes is setting the stage for everything written in this book.  While the authors differentiate between "needs and wants," I believe in this area there is a tad bit of confusion in helping the parent understand each. 

    Next, especially in the CD's, the authors laugh about a child making poor choices.  While the context explains that we want our children to make little mistakes so that they learn before the stakes are high, I feel laughter isn't the best emotion to express.

    As a reminder, we need to always weigh an author's advice through prayer, Biblical teaching, and wisdom, and decide what is best for our family and the child.

    Conclusion

    Before you completely write off this book because of my two disclaimers, know that this is an extremely small part of the book and CDs.  For me, it is easy to give the authors the benefit of the doubt, understand where the authors are coming from, and glean from the wealth of ideas and help that this book has been to my husband and I.

    I have suggested this books to many parents and will continue to as I feel it is very important that our children learn that they are to love God and love others, and this can only happen when children learn to respect their parents and the authority around them. (See the video below)

    You may purchase the Early Childhood Package on the Love and Logic website for $55 (free shipping) or order various pieces new and used from Amazon.  I also encourage you to sign up for their free Newsletter called the "Insider's Club."   Both my husband and I have find their short tips to be very helpful. 

    For more information...

    ABCJLM YouTube Parenting Playlist - The following short videos will help you break down what I've shared in this blog post and provide a Biblical understand of parenting. 

     

    Giveaway Winner

    From last week's blog post, I am super excited to give away 3 brand-new Usborne books. 

    Out of 448 entries, the three randomly chosen winners are:


    Entry #255 - Lancy (email lancyk...@)
    Entry #412 - Vanessa C (email southernser...@)
    Entry #154- Eva (email pure4div..@)


    Please contact me within 48 hours using the winning email address, and be sure to include your mailing address.  The first person to email will have their choose of book:  How Do Flower Grow?, How Things Grow, or 1001 Bugs to Spot. Thank you to everyone who entered and thank you to Sheena for providing this giveaway.

    If you'd like to order or learn more about Usborne book, you can connect with Sheena on Facebook



    This post may contain affiliate links. Without any cost to you, when clicking on these links you are helping to support the further development of this blog and the ABCJLM website. Click to read other Giveaway Rules



    This Week's Periscope Broadcast:  Implementing an Afternoon Quiet Time



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    The Our Out-of-Sync Life blog focuses on encouraging women to deepen their spiritual life, simplify daily tasks, and impress Jesus on the children around them.