Monday, September 29, 2014

What I Wish I Would Have Known as a Young Mommy - Part 1

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This week we will focus on mommyhood.  The job that has an incredibly steep learning curve and one where life is the biggest teacher. 

Prior to our little blessings, I had a lot of preconceived ideas of what life as a mom would be.  During the last ten years and while watching other moms, I have learned some valuable lessons.  Things that I wish I would have known as a young mom or ideas which I am thankful that others taught me prior to me making the mistake.  Although I am in no way a perfect mom ( just ask my kiddos!), I am thankful that God is continuing to mold me into the momma my four children need.

Let's start with the first group of life lessons...in no particular order.  And be sure to share your learned tips with me as well!
 

1.  Don't assume.  A small amount of time with a child doesn't give me the ability to assume the child's personality or the parenting skills of his/her mom.   I have no idea what happens behind closed doors.   Just as I don't want someone judging my parenting skills, other mommas need me to give them the same grace. 

2.  Never say "I will never...".  This is one of those statement that will come back to bite you every time!  There are a lot of things I said I wouldn't do until I had a child with Sensory Processing Disorder and then a very Spirited Little Man. You can't know what you will certainly do until you are in the situation.

3.  Love, Love, Love.  Sometimes my children are acting their worst because they simply need some mommy time and a big hug.  I see this the most with Sweet Pea.  She can share the ugliest disposition only to hear the Holy Spirit to show me that she is exhausted and needing a hug from her momma. Take time to hug, kiss on, and tickle your little ones.  They love it and you will toO!

4.  No one wants to listen to my baby or child cry.  As moms we have this amazing ability to block sounds out.  Other people do not.  Respect other people and work on my discipline methods at home.  I need to go to the extreme to try and keep my baby/child calm.  Restaurants and church time are a good place for do whatever you have to do and then handle the situation at home.  Another option is to simply remove the child as soon as possible.

5.  My to-do list isn't as important as I sometimes think.  Stuff will get done.  The days of sitting on the floor with tractors and my favorite kiddos passes incredibly quick. There is a balance and it must be found with the help of the Holy Spirit. 

6.  Respect other people's homes. If my child is potty training or spits up excessively (like Sweet Pea and Peanut did), keep them off the carpet and furniture. Accidents happen, don't get me wrong, but I should do everything in my power to make sure they don't. Thankfully pull-ups are available and easily used when not at home. Error on the side of caution.

7.  Actions speak louder than words. If  I want to know why my child uses harsh words at his siblings, all I have to do is look in the mirror.  My kiddos are continually watching to see if my words are matching up with what I do day in and day out.

8.  Discipline in private.  No one wants to listen to me scold my child from across the room or while sitting in a chair (arm-chair parenting). Nor does my child need the humiliation of discipline in front of siblings, friends, or adults. Sometimes this requires me to politely remove myself from an adult  conversation to deal with a heart issue in my child.  Whispering or removing the child from the room along with a quiet time out can be very effective and respects those around.

9. Unless asked, most people don't want to hear my stories. What is funny to me and my family isn't that funny to others. It is like watching family videos. The only people who truly like to watch those are family members! Keep stories brief and few.

10.  Take time outs for Mommy to refresh.  Mommas can't pour into others what they don't possess themselves.  Take time daily to be in the Word and pray, exercise, and relax.  This is very important and if balanced correctly, will be a huge asset to everyone in the family. 

11.  Take time to laugh.  Be silly.  Joke around.  Laugh until it hurts.  If your days are filled to the brim, schedule in play time.  A lighthearted, fun atmosphere will make a huge difference on every member of the family.  Read how I learned this the hard way. 

Can you relate?  I'd love to hear your thoughts and perspective!  Leave a comment.

More lessons learned on the next post...


2 comments :

  1. Love ALL of these! Thanks for sharing.
    I would add that 'appearance is only surface level' kind of tagging into dont judge... the kids with messy hair or mismatched clothes will be MY kids somedays.... so look more at their little eyes and hearts. And pray for other Mommas we see just as you'd want someone praying for you

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The Our Out-of-Sync Life blog focuses on encouraging women to deepen their spiritual life, simplify daily tasks, and impress Jesus on the children around them.