Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Answering Your "Stupid" Questions #11


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A while back I asked on our Facebook Group for all of your "stupid" questions - all of those questions that you may be embarrassed to ask. It is finally time for me to share my thoughts!  (If you missed questions #1-10, be sure to click back to read them.)

I left this question for last because I would really like to hear your thoughts.  Please leave your comments so that we can discuss together!

Question #11:  If your child is excelling in his/her academic concepts but is continues to be below average in social and emotional development, how much focus should you be putting on the academics? Is it best to let your child soar as high as they can in an area, or should the primary goal be to work on a better balance in all areas of development and really work on the areas of struggle?

Honestly, I don't think I am qualified to answer this question.  But even if I was, I believe you would get different answers from the various expects you would consult.  With that said, I will give you my mommy thoughts. 

My husband and I put a lot of emphasis on the social and emotional development of our children.  Academic smarts are very important but in my opinion society praises a child who can read at age four yet ignores a child of the same age who has excelled in manners and social skills. Both are very important.  But reading is easily measured where social skills is not. 

In our four children we have the gamut of abilities. One struggles and is very behind in social and emotional behavior.  Another is very advanced in all.  Little Man is gifted in academic concepts and social skills with adults but struggles with children and is behind on emotional skills.  Peanut...well he seems to be very normal. 

Now for my opinion.  I will not hold back a child from growth in academic areas.  But, I am not going to push a child (toddler to early elementary age) who is ahead.  In the case of Little Man, we are using this time to work on his emotional and social skills with children his age and focusing less on academic.  We know that once he has to begin academic work (Kindergarten) that he will excel with or without much prep at home. 

It is my opinion that I would rather my children have common sense, people skills, and a work ethic than book smarts.  It will take them much further in life and very well may impact what they do for Christ.  This is why the ABC Jesus Loves Me curriculum is much more than academic concepts.  The lesson plans focus on Bible, music, fine and gross motor skills, social skills, chores, and character education to name a few. 

Well-rounded children who love the Lord is my ultimate goal.  With that said, I can't ignore the verse in Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  God made each of my children with strengths and weaknesses.  It is our job as parents to train up each child so that he or she can be prepared to do what God has for them. 

Now it's your turn to share you thoughts on this excellent question and my views on it. 

One more question!  Click to read it


  1. Wow, I loved reading your reply to my question and it actually made me tear up at the amount of insight you have on this topic. I've been struggling with this question for a long time now and everyone I ask seems to have a different opinion on it. I love so much of what you said here and it's reassuring to hear; it sounds like we're on the right track with my son. Although I've read Proverbs 22:6 many times, I've never read it with the emphasis on IN THE WAY HE SHOULD GO, and now that I have, it feels like I have so much more insight as to how God wants me to raise these blessings. Thank you so very much!

    1. So blessed to hear that this was helpful. Praise be to God!


The Our Out-of-Sync Life blog focuses on encouraging women to deepen their spiritual life, simplify daily tasks, and impress Jesus on the children around them.