Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Is Your Offer to Help a Cop Out?


Pin It

The Christian thing to do when someone sees a brother or sister in the valley is to say, "Please call me if you need anything."  Or, "Let me know what I can do to help."  It is meant to be a kind gesture, showing love and care.

I have said this exact thing many times before.  The same statements have been added to emails and Facebook comments.

From experience, I have learned that 99% of the time, the person will not call me.  Not because they don't need the help but because...they just won't.

While some of us say this comment with sincere thoughts, I wonder if we sometimes say it out of laziness knowing the person will never call us.  Basically, it place the burden in the other person's lap to make us feel better.  Almost like a cop out of, "Well I offered!"

Let me give you an example.

What I am sharing is an actual text from a sweet gal in my Bible study that I received before Little Man had surgery.
Will you please text me if you get overwhelmed or need help?  I don't want to hover or smother but I am available! :)
Incredibly sweet.  And I know that this girl meant it.  She would have been at my door in a flash if I asked her too.  But let's be honest.  I knew upon reading her text that I wouldn't ask her.

About two minutes after receiving this text, I received another one from her.
Okay...scratch that.  I have a better idea...haha.  How about I bring you guys some lasagna, breadsticks and salad for dinner on Monday between 5-5:30 p.m.  Will that work for you?
Well, an idiot would refuse this gesture of love! 

Please understand that my friend deeply meant what she said when she offered her help in the initial text. I know her heart.  But when she stepped back, she heard the Holy Spirit tell her how to help.  

I am not saying that offering to help is always a cop out.   Sometimes in difficult situations we don't know how to help.  What I am encouraging us all to do is seek the Holy Spirit as He will guide us to the one thing we can do to bless a family in need, if we simply listen. 

Are we passing on the "Christian comment" or are we listening to what the Holy Spirit would have us do?


  1. Thank you for that reminder!!! I have been saved literally most of my life, but it hasn't been since my two year old was born that I was having a true walk with God. Yielding to the Holy Spirit n faith is crucial. I find that when I back slide (as I have since my one month old was born) it gets easier to drown out the still small Voice. I really enjoy reading your posts and appreciate the encouragement.

    1. My friend's text was a great reminder to me too! Thank you for your encouragement to me!


The Our Out-of-Sync Life blog focuses on encouraging women to deepen their spiritual life, simplify daily tasks, and impress Jesus on the children around them.