Christmas: Prepare Your Child

Having a sensory sensitive child has taught me to prepare for every scenario; at least every scenerio that I can possibly conceive.  Though Bubs is doing so much better about handling the environment around him, there is still a need for us to prepare him for new and different situations. 

The holidays are key times for SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) kids and all kiddos to get overloaded.  I believe adults even struggle!  They don't know how to handle all of the activity and very quickly the day spirals out of control. 

So, what do you do to make this time of year successful for the child and everyone else?

Prepare the child for what is going to take place - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Here are a few tips that I have learned along the way.  Most of them after the fact!

1. Don't let the child get overtired. - Know when enough is enough.  Don't try to draw out one more (blank).  When the child is done, it is best for everyone that you call the activity or day over.  We were extreme on this because Bubs had night terrors for several years whenever he had a day filled with too much activity.  And we could bank on a night terror each night during Christmas.  So, we made sure that a long day contained quiet, peaceful times as well.  This could include a bath, reading books, legos, etc. 
2. Keep to a regular bed schedule. - This goes hand in hand with #1.  With all of the extra activities, it is especially important for child to get plenty of down time and sleep. 
   If Bubs is overtired, a meltdown will occur. These can be ugly and last a long time.  Thankfully the meltdowns are getting shorter and shorter with time.  At the peak his "fits" would last 90 minutes.  Now a bad one lasts 20 minutes.  He is learning to gain control much quicker.  No matter if they last 20 minutes or 90 minutes, no one wants to have to endure that at Christmas.  So, help your child get the sleep he/she needs. 
3. Provide the child with a space to go when overloaded. - We set up a small, quiet area such as a tent or closet for Bubs to have some down time. Included in the space are legos, books, coloring items, and puzzles for him to relax and have some down time. While a naptime rest may be what he needs, we learned that trying to force sleep on him didn't work because he was too tired and can not calm his body down. We trained him to sense his bodies need for peace and to ask to go there when he felt overloaded with the activities.  If we are visiting someones home, one of us will pull him aside to do a quiet, one-on-one activity - read a book, cook in the kitchen, play a quiet game - something to calm him down. 
4. Explain, explain, explain - Parties and restaurants can be overwhelming. Explain (to the best of your ability) what is going to occur.  When a change comes to the activities, pull the child close so that you can help him/her listen to instructions. You can review the changes and help answer any questions. 
5. Get Specific about Visiting Restaurants - At a restaurant, discuss where they will sit, behavior expectations, food options, etc. Always sit the child by you so that you can whisper encouraging comments or rub the child's back (if this calming technique works).  Depending on who you are eating with, set the child by a calming person on the other side. Allow the child to choose from a select number of toys and set the expectation that the chosen toy is what will be quietly played with at the restaurant.  Don't give the child the toy until you are already seated in the restaurant.  
6. Keep At Arms Distance - Depending on those present, Bubs will feed off of a little excitement and be unable to come back down. In these cases, Daddy or I keep Bubs at very close reach. This way, we can immediately stifle any escalating situation. Most of the time, this is not a form of discipline but simply to pull him away and redirect him to a calmer scenario.
7. Prepare for Gift Opening - I learned this one the hard way. When it comes time for gifts to be opened, I always hold my breathe.  Thinking Bubs would always be grateful for whatever he received I didn't prepare him.  Bad news!  Now, before the activity begins, Bubs and I talk about appropriate ways to handle gifts he likes and gifts he doesn't like.  We run scenarios of what to say and how to find something positive in even the "worst" gift (in his eyes).  He has learned to find one attribute that he can be thankful for without lying - the color, the size, the texture, etc.
8. Know Calming Techniques - For Bubs, rubbing his back helps calm him.   We learned very quickly that holding Bubs close put him into "fight or flight" mode.  If a certain toy or item calms the child, be sure to have it with you for emergency situations. 
9. Prepare for Different Foods - Like opening gifts, at Christmas kids are asked to eat different foods than what they may be used to.   In our home, our children must try at least one bite of everything.  Sometimes these battles can be a little ugly.  Remember, Christmas is not the time to work on expanding a child's food palete.  Train the child to know what to do or say when asked to eat something that they don't like.
10. When Adults are Talking - Children need to learn not to interrupt adults.  Teach your child(ren) to place a hand on you if you are talking or listening to another personand.  Then the child must wait to be spoken to .  Once I feel my child's hand on me, I simply put my hand on their hand to let them know that I see them waiting patiently.  Then when a break in the conversation occurs, I can listen to their needs. 
11. Be Proactive - Error on the side of too much preparing than assume that the guidance is not needed. 
12. Be Respectful of Hosts and Guests - Training occurs at home, in a safe atmosphere.  Although expectations and boundaries need to be firm, a little grace may need to occur out of respect for everyone present.  As explained with food, Christmas get togethers are not the time to make your child sit at the table for two hours until his/her plate is clean.  Leave this type of training for another day.  Also, if discipline or redirecting needs to occur, pull the child aside and handle the situation in a private conversation. 

I wish that I could say that we have mastered all twelve of these tips.  But, we are still learning.  Thank God that we have the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom and that we have a gracious God.

What tips have you learned to prepare your child for Christmas?

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